Tuesday, May 17, 2005

What’s up with the lotion lady?

Well, I should begin this little story by saying I have joined a health club! A nice health club filled with skinny, pretty people. Oh joy!
Now, thankfully this isn’t Bally’s so we don’t have ladies with thongs wedged up their butts and other such nonsense….
Don’t get me wrong, I think thongs have a place in our society and our life….just not wedged up our butt while we are laboriously trying to work out and slim aforementioned butt. Anyhoo, I digress…
So, I now have joined a health club where I take my post pregnancy ass to begin the long journey back to my pre-pregnancy shape and beyond! I know this will be a long journey to get everything back to original proportions…..the body doesn’t just pop back into place once that baby comes out. Who knew?!
But I have found that most people who are “regulars” at the gym are fit and perky! Damn….does this mean if I go regularly I can become fit and perky again? Ah, to dream.

Well, this brings me to my next question. What’s up with the lotion lady? I tend to go to the gym around the same time on the same days. Which is probably how most of us do it…..get into a schedule and it’s easier to go. I have noticed on the evenings I am at the gym this particular woman. She has a ritual…she dons her cute little workout outfit. I little tank top and these dinky spandex shorts that I’m unsure if I can actually call shorts, but lets go out on a limb here and say shorts. She then precedes to lotion her ENTIRE body. The first time I really didn’t notice much. I was getting ready and she was lotioning her arms, and I went on my merry way. But the 2nd time I noticed she was methodically lotioning every inch of bare skin. She then proceeded to go work out.
I can’t imagine why someone would do this…...I am totally perplexed.
Why lube up ones body to then go work up a nice sticky sweat. Ick.
Maybe she has a strange, rare skin condition that requires her to slather her skin down, lest it sloth off as she works those buns? But I doubt it. Maybe she fears dry skin would turn away possible suitors? The possibilities are endless.

And yes, I do have too much spare time at the gym.
But I find it entertaining people watching and it distracts me from the fact that I feel uncomfortable myself being not my ideal weight in a room full of perky butts! Plus, some of the antics are just too damn funny not to be entertaining, if only briefly.


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