How do I get a ticket?

I went to the mall today. Which is quite unusual for me. I’m not one to hang out at the mall shopping my afternoon away. I’m more the kinda girl who will go to Barnes and Noble…order a Toffee Nut Latte and then spend hours wandering the isles reading books. But Alec’s 6-month photo shoot is coming up and I wanted to find something for him to wear besides his diaper and a formula stained onesie. Having a boy, this is more difficult that you would think. But that is another tirade for another day.

So, back to the original story. I went to the mall to find a nice, simple outfit for my adorable son. No dorky sweater vests or blue monstrosity with trucks all over it. Something simple and classy. Since we’ve decided to indulge in a “professional” photographer because we figured “what the hell…we’re only doing this once so we might as well do it right”…as well as the fact that I was disturbed by the fact that the Joe Blow photographer at your local store might put cherub wings on him. We decided we better get a nice outfit for him to be immortalized in for this momentous occasion of him turning 6-months…as well as the fact that this photographer (who does amazing work I might add) also costs MUCH more than your average Joe Blow photographer…so Alec better look good.

So, here I am at the mall…meandering from one pricey kids store to the next…being reminded repeatedly why I don’t shop for Alec at the mall for his “regular” clothes. If I did, we would either have to live off ramen or I would have to pimp Dave out regularly to afford those cute little outfits… But I digress.

So, here I am…wandering around and there are TONS of moms.
Moms everywhere with little munchkins in tow. Moms from all walks of life…
But there were basically two kinds of moms that stood out for me today. The first kind are not your run of the mill mom. They are your very wealthy moms who do not work and probably have done very little work in their life (not that not working is bad, I only work 3 days a week now) but they come from a household of high means. They probably have more money than I will see in a lifetime. And they are meandering about picking up $80 sweaters for their infants…and cooing “Isn’t this just adorable, I must have it!” Yeah, lady. It’s adorable…and it’s also damn expensive. These perfectly coifed moms are dressed in all the latest high fashion and their children are immaculate. How do they do that? It’s like they come from such upstanding stock that the stains just magically disappear…or maybe they just shop at the mall so much that the kid has a billion outfits, so when one gets soiled they just chuck it. Who knows…
Then there are the other moms. Let’s call them the cool moms. They are in groups, and they are having a lovely time. Laughing and chatting and drinking their cappuccinos. I find myself staring at these women. They look at me and smile and I smile back…but then they are gone…laughing and sharing stories. And I am left there alone.
It’s like I have a ticket to a club, but I don’t really belong and I don’t know how to get in. I may have a ticket…but I’m still outside...pressing my face to the window wondering what it’s like inside.

Sometimes I wish I knew someone who has a 6 month old…. Someone with like interests that we could go and hang out with and our children could play…
They say that you will meet people, but I haven’t yet. I’m still on the outside looking in. Not to say I’m totally alone…I have wonderful friends who light up my life and give me smiles as well. But they all work and have busy lives as well…and on my days off…when Alec is asleep…I feel isolated.

Well, there you have it folks…could it be postpartum? Possibly…but I doubt it. It’s probably more likely I am adjusting to my new life with a little being and just crave adult interaction and someone to share my goofy daily moments with.

But to put a happy note on it…I found an adorable sweater and linen pants for Alec for the photo shoot and I didn’t have to open a 2nd mortgage on the house…clearance…it’s a wonderful thing!