Monday, August 14, 2006

Those Days…

I hate those days. I had one the other day. One of those days where it seems like the world is falling down on me and I’m swimming in this massive ocean that I can barely stay afloat in. And yet at the very moment I begin to feel despair. Someone does something. A small act of kindness and it lifts me up and makes me realize it isn’t so bad and that we’ll be able to traverse this sea of chaos.

Now, don’t start worrying too much about me folks. I’m doing ok. Honestly. I just have my bad days. Those days where everything going on just seems a bit too much to bear. They usually come on when I’m caught off guard by something someone says about David’s condition or treatment, or I read an article about the nasties of cancer or the hundredth doctor bill comes in the mail.

But they are few and far between…and I have many more days of hope and joy than “those days.” I’m a survivor and I’m not going to give up fighting. You don’t have to worry about that. It’s just that sometimes something happens and for a brief moment I am left with the thought of life without my soul mate and it makes my heart ache. But that’s not going to happen. Not now. Not Ever. David’s going to be around for along time rockin’ the boat and putting bell curves into everyone’s statistics.

So, although I have tough days sometimes, I’m getting through them and everyone’s kindness and generosity is helping me get through those times. So, if I haven’t said it enough. I thank you deeply. The overwhelming support both financially and emotionally is immeasurable. We have had friends help in so many ways. A woman in my playgroup froze up some meals to help with cooking, another dear friend is helping with cleaning, my mom is giving us incredible financial support in these bill laden days, many of you have sent us invaluable research to help us in this battle, and some of you have treated us to dinner or concerts to get us out of the house to enjoy life, as well the gift of just lending a shoulder to cry on. Your friendships are all dear to us and your support means more than we will ever be able to express. Thank you.


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