Friday, November 07, 2008

The path of grief...

There are so many people out there going through this. Too many of us…learning to live without our loved ones. Today my thoughts are with a few special ladies who I spent the last eight weeks with. It was a bereavement group and we learned a lot about each other and it was my pleasure to have gotten to know these strong women. Our final meeting was last night and now we will continue our separate journeys…hopefully to a place of peace and acceptance someday. But it was so good to hear other people’s stories. To hear their pain…and their joy. And to learn that what I was experiencing…things I was doing…weren’t crazy. They were just part of the process of mourning. Grief. It can be a dark place filled with forgetfulness, tears and loneliness. But you are never alone.

Many of us had lost our spouses and most were lost to the beast we call Cancer. We learned a lot over the past month and a half. We learned about each others beautiful husbands, our lives before and after, and what we were doing to survive the days. We lost 11 of the original 17 people. It was a long road. Many couldn’t bear the pain of remembering the loss. Reliving it. But a few of us knew this was the beginning of the road to healing. We knew this journey wouldn’t be easy. How could it be? But we did it and I for one know that I am stronger and better equipped to face the future and the continually changing face of grief than I was before. And in the end…the six of us became closer and stronger for having shared our grief with one other. It made the burden not quite so heavy…

I am still on that road to healing…and I will be for a very long time. I may get off periodically, to rest and regroup. But then I will have to get back on and continue trudging through it all once again. But the path to healing is not filled with flowers and singing birds…if it was, everyone would be doing it. But it is worthwhile and imperative to my survival. Not only physically but emotionally.

And I need to remember that I never walk this road alone. I have all of you, who have seen me through the past two and a half years, and I know many of you will be there for many years to come. Many new friends have joined me on this journey as well and I am sure that many more will continue to in the years to come.


At November 08, 2008 10:03 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am new to following your journey and will be here in thought, spirit, and prayer the whole way.

The world has become less empathetic, we have become more focused on ourselves and honestly if we sat back and walked through the journey with others we'd realize how precious just living a life is.

I am glad to hear you found support through some women who experienced an awful, similar circumstance you did. I hope they help you realize you are not alone and you walk the road to healing together.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us - showing us how to remember life sometimes isn't all about ourselves and there are others out there who need love and support. Your strength is amazing - even though sometimes you don't feel you are strong - you truly are.

At November 08, 2008 8:46 PM, Blogger Satine said...

Ditto Anonymous--thanks for sharing and I'm also glad to know that you've been with a group for both fellowship, support, and empathy over the past few weeks--I'm sure some of you have become closer to one another too. Keep keepin' on. :)

At November 10, 2008 5:46 AM, Anonymous Roads said...

Yes, it's good to know you're not alone in this. Not quite.

It's a lonely road to tread, and for everyone it's different. Many people have gone through this before.

That's far from being a travel recommendation, though, since this is a journey I really wouldn't recommend to anyone. Going on from here, the connections are all messed up, and you just can't be certain when or even exactly where you'll arrive.

But it doesn't matter right now. Just keep moving as best you can.


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