Inspiration

Someone told me the other day that David is an inspiration. That we both are. It surprised me at first. We never really thought about it. For us there was only one direction. Forward. No use sitting in the past or bemoaning the present. We knew this was one of those big proverbial forks in the road and we needed to pick a new direction. Time for change. Changing of eating patterns and thought patterns. A change for the better. Seems strange that something so scary and painful at times could bring with it such good. But it has…

Everything lately is changing as our new life evolves. Like a phoenix from the ashes. Our new life is being born. A new direction. Not what we expected, but it never is. Is it? We’re dealing with stress differently. Hell, things that used to stress us to the max now seem pretty trivial. We’re opting to play over errands and take walks instead of watch TV. As the John Lennon song goes, “Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans.”

We’re doing more than just changing our lifestyle though. We’re learning a lot in as well. I learn something every day it seems. David and some amazing women around me are showing me that I am brave and have an inner strength inside that has always been there…but that I just never embraced. I am learning to believe in myself and to live life without fear. I’m also learning that each and every day is a beautiful gift.

Through this whole learning process…I guess we’ve inspired some folks as well as ourselves.

We are inspiring one another to live, smile and dream.

We are inspiring our friends and family to eat better, enjoy life’s simple pleasures and to live without regret.

Unwittingly David has ended up teaching as he inspires.
He is teaching the residents at the hospital that patients are people. They have heart, determination and faith. And that although those things are immeasurable, they can change the world if you believe. He is also teaching the residents that he a person fighting a disease. Not the disease itself. David is not a tumor…he just has one. He is putting it into more human terms and although they are fighting it…they can’t resist believing as well. Believing in him despite the statistics. Believing in the power of optimism and the will to live.

I am touched by those of you have found us inspirational.
You inspire us as well.

Thought for the day finally updated!

I'm sure you were all tired of seeing the "test test test" in my Thoughts for the day box. Many of you have probably ignored that box for months since I created it over a year ago and never got around to doing anything with it! But I was inspired and Dave was busy putting the little one down for the night. So I thought, what the hell, I could do something productive on the house or I could play on my blog. The blog won.

Let's see how long it takes me to get the archives portion created so I can actually update the quotes on a regular basis. Although that will require some programing so I'll need to enlist the help of Dave for that one...

Those Days…

I hate those days. I had one the other day. One of those days where it seems like the world is falling down on me and I’m swimming in this massive ocean that I can barely stay afloat in. And yet at the very moment I begin to feel despair. Someone does something. A small act of kindness and it lifts me up and makes me realize it isn’t so bad and that we’ll be able to traverse this sea of chaos.

Now, don’t start worrying too much about me folks. I’m doing ok. Honestly. I just have my bad days. Those days where everything going on just seems a bit too much to bear. They usually come on when I’m caught off guard by something someone says about David’s condition or treatment, or I read an article about the nasties of cancer or the hundredth doctor bill comes in the mail.

But they are few and far between…and I have many more days of hope and joy than “those days.” I’m a survivor and I’m not going to give up fighting. You don’t have to worry about that. It’s just that sometimes something happens and for a brief moment I am left with the thought of life without my soul mate and it makes my heart ache. But that’s not going to happen. Not now. Not Ever. David’s going to be around for along time rockin’ the boat and putting bell curves into everyone’s statistics.

So, although I have tough days sometimes, I’m getting through them and everyone’s kindness and generosity is helping me get through those times. So, if I haven’t said it enough. I thank you deeply. The overwhelming support both financially and emotionally is immeasurable. We have had friends help in so many ways. A woman in my playgroup froze up some meals to help with cooking, another dear friend is helping with cleaning, my mom is giving us incredible financial support in these bill laden days, many of you have sent us invaluable research to help us in this battle, and some of you have treated us to dinner or concerts to get us out of the house to enjoy life, as well the gift of just lending a shoulder to cry on. Your friendships are all dear to us and your support means more than we will ever be able to express. Thank you.

Dave continues to amaze and surprise..

David was told on Friday by a very befuddled resident that he got the weekly blood tests back. They take his blood weekly to check both his white blood cell and platelet counts to see how they are doing. Chemo and Radiation are notorious for lowering both which is a bad thing.

So, the resident told him that his white counts remain the same and that his platelet count is up. Yes folks...you heard correctly. The resident sat there scratching his head as he told David the results. They hope the results stay the same and unfortunately many times the numbers begin to drop...which is quite normal. But go up. This isn't as normal. But it's good news for us and doesn't surprise David a bit. So, of course the resident keeping true to his form said, "This is good but remember you're still going to loose all your hair." Thanks nimrod!

David just smiled at him and said, "You've already told me that and it's only hair." I just don't think the resident knows quite what to make of David. For that matter I don't think most of the staff know quite what to make of him. He doesn't "behave" like they expected him to. He's optimistic, energetic, jovial and full of hope. He feels very little fatigue and his appetite is unchanged. Hell, I think that since he's started eating healthier his appetite has increased.

But enough of the Tumor Talk. Tumor talk you say? That's our new term for it and we even have new house rules. No Tumor Talk after 8pm every night. It helps us get away from it and just enjoy our night together...

Onto other news...We've been playing a lot more lately and taking time out to enjoy each day. David's oldest friend invited us out to a free concert at the Rave. What fun! We saw Billy Idol and it was a blast! The music was great and a fun time was had by all! Note: Billy Idol is aging well my friends. For you ladies out there, he definitely hasn't let his body go with age. He was quite the svelte man! Impressive...most impressive...but you are not a Jedi yet!

And the other exiting news...A dear friend of ours has given us a small loan in these crazy and bill laden times. She felt it was integral to both David and my healing that we continue with our dream of buying a kiln and beginning our new direction of fused and slumped glass artwork. She knew that with the onslaught of bills that we wouldn't be able to get one for a long time and decided to generously give us a small loan to help us move foreword. See folks...as I always say...Continue to dream and things you thought were out of reach sometimes aren't quite as far as you originally thought.